no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
