what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
