It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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