I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
