dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
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its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
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I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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