A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
