found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This beer is not sobering me up at all
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
