I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you never un-have a 4some
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
