Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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