My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dick very happy bro
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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