this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
