Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
