I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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