I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
