We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
