the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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