If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
