She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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