after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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