you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
