Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
