I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
