Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
