either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
