"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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