You can't motorboat a personality
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
