I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
