Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
