i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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