Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
