But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
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Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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