He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
