can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
