Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome