i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?