how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
