k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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