the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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