i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
