So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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