STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Boobs are out for the taking
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
