some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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