This girl is more easily done than said...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
