her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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