Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
