I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
