Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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