Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just cropdusted the office
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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