That's intense
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
