I must be too annoying 4 u.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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