That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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