I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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