guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
