I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
