Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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