I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I supernannyed him into submission
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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