come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
