I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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